We are told repeatedly that honesty is the most important of all ethics. However, what people tend to forget to teach us is the importance of self-honesty. — Jacqueline Pearce, MSEd, LMHC
Being honest with yourself is harder than it seems. There are plenty of reasons to be dishonest with yourself about your situation or your behavior. You may even be lying to yourself without knowing it because, from your perspective, you truly believe that your life is a certain way. However, it is important to be completely honest with yourself when you are attempting to improve yourself. Here is how you can begin to be honest with where you are in your life.
- Start With a Self-Evaluation
Awareness is key when it comes to being honest with yourself. If you are aware that a behavior or a situation in your life is not good yet you remain in denial about it, you are lying to yourself. If you are unaware that a situation or behavior is bad and you do this self-evaluation and you make the choice to be in denial about it, you are also lying to yourself. Sit down and make a list of all of your behaviors and of all the situations that are currently going on in your life. This is the starting point to determine what you are aware of, what you aren’t aware of, what you’re in denial about, and what you are being honest about.
- Review Your Progress
Now that you have a full list of your behaviors and different aspects of your current situation, you are going to have to ask yourself some important questions. Here are a few to get you started:
– Am I happy with where I am at this point in my life?
– What areas of my life need improvement?
– What areas of my life am I refusing to address and fix?
– What negative behaviors or addictions am I refusing to address and fix?
– What do I need to do in order to solve these situations
There are plenty of other questions that you will need to ask yourself as well but these are some of the most important ones.
Whether we’re aware of it or not, everything we do, every decision we make emanates from values. — Joshua Nash, LPC-S
- Come Up With Some Solutions
Creating solutions to your problems is far easier than having to figure out what the problems in your life are. Once you’ve figured out what you need to fix, map out a plan of what you need to do in order to fix it. If you are having an issue getting back and forth to your job and you could benefit greatly from having your own car, map out a plan that gives you guidelines as to how you are going to get your own car. If you are having difficulty in your relationships and you find that your partners tend to blame you for why the relationship is falling apart, listen to their feedback and change the patterns that are leading to the destruction of your relationships. Whatever your problems may be, there is always a solution to it if you look hard enough.
- Realize That With Awareness Comes Responsibility
With awareness comes responsibility. Because you are aware of the behaviors and of the situations in your life that are toxic, you must follow through on the solutions you have created for them in order to create a better life for yourself. Hold yourself accountable for your life. If you find it difficult to do that, you can tell someone close to you about your goals and about how you want to change your life. Doing this will give you additional motivation to make real change in your life rather than telling yourself about how you are going to get something done and then failing to do it.
Productive and meaningful time management is a highly prized skill, but failing to make space in your day for unscheduled time may have a direct and negative effect on your sense of well-being. — Tai Pimputkar, MSW, LCSW